Wednesday, April 13, 2005

love in space

I'm building a spacecraft in your backyard
mostly from old toilet rolls and tin foil
you sit on the back step
reading People magazine
occasionally glancing up at me
and reading out the names of the stars that
will come with us
"Brittney Spears?" you ask.
"No", I say gently, matter-of-factly. "She's pregnant. You can't fly in space when you're pregnant."
You keep flicking for celestial companions and you look like every birthday present I never got
I turn and look up at the sky
and I wonder if love is simpler
without oxygen
then I ask you
to pass me another roll of tin foil.


jane. said...

* you know i love these sappy (for lack of a better word) pieces. and i definitely let out a bonafide chuckle when i read the you can't fly when you're pregnant part.

ollywompus said...

i'm very impressed by the pieces I have read here... great blog!


CT said...

you are crazy but i like you man

Billy said...


easywriter said...

Well done, there is the simplicity of style in this piece I most admire.

Anonymous said...

Crap. The start was awful, the end was dreadfull and less said about the middle. Please post me my 1 minute of life I wasted reading that dribble, for I would like it back so I can read the biography of Hanson. I feel that the biography would be a far superior read.

Person you never put in your "thank you" list.

David Prater said...

Dear Anonymous,

I'm not sure what drugs you're on, but Clint Bo Dean is superior to Hanson, IMHO. "Cheers".

davey dreamnation

Penny said...

"and I wonder if love is simpler
without oxygen"


Anonymous might have had some credibility to his critique if he hadn't added his last line. Now, his comment just looks like contempt due to having been slighted at some previous time. Also, as far as his one minute goes.. does he truly expect to be satisfied every minute of his life? No wonder he is so irritable. Even if he truly doesn't like this piece, he should perform an exercise - write a bad piece himself - it's harder to do than one thinks.