Bin Night

Silent sentries
punctuate your footsteps
walking home
from her
a bad night
it took one train and two long tram rides to get home from a leafy green suburb where the security guard stood on the platform staring at you
as if you may steal one of the trains
or something worse
on the train you push your phone further and further into the deepest part of your bag
public transport is like a hearing aid for the lonely
everything becomes louder and clearer
it's not her fault
she told you
she didn't choose over you
he didn't give her any choice
and you were never in the running in the first place
ouch...
you fucking idiot
how could you be so dumb?
you kick one of the bins
it just grunts at you
even the bins know
don't say anything
never say anything
just let them fill you up
they'll push you out when you're done
and in the morning you'll be empty
mouth open
like a baby bird
waiting to be filled up again
when you can wake up in the morning
empty and know it
this won't happen
anymore
you stand on the nature strip
staring at the long line of bins
knowing that on some quiet street
she's probably doing exactly the same thing
you told her you're an optimist
this doesn't mean you wait for bad things to turn good
it means they were never that bad in the first place
this much is true
you check to make sure the recycling is sorted correctly
somewhere she steps away from the curb
she walks into the house
and she turns off the outside light.